What vile plot hath a toy manufacturer? Lo! Agent of the dark side. Thee, offering asylum to thine high-tech minions as they churn unto the world thine tools of torture.
Into our home arrived one such vehicle of vexation. One with a life-force all it's own, unencumbered by normal battery-life; the Rock-N-Roll-Sounds Electric Guitar.
What vile plot hath a toy manufacturer? Lo! Agent of the dark side. Thee, offering asylum to thine high-tech minions as they churn unto the world thine tools of torture.
Into our home arrived one such vehicle of vexation. One with a life-force all it's own, unencumbered by normal battery-life; the Rock-N-Roll-Sounds Electric Guitar.
Its emissary, my brother Greg, sent this anathema some four years ago. A befitting Christmas present, along with the Bark-N-Flip puppy, for a 3 year old. Oh, by what provocation have you afflicted my household, dear brother? Is this avengement of some scar on your spirit meted when we were children and I was left in charge? Perhaps, I've hurt you in some way?
Oh, the agony, the anguish, the excrutiation wrought upon my soul by this Rock-N-Roll-Sounds Electric Guitar. The strap has been pulled off, the strings have been stretched beyond their tolerance and yet, it plays, on and on and on.
I try to hide it, even burying it in the Goodwill box. Time after time, it is disentombed, "Mom, why would you get rid of this? This is from our Uncle Greg!" Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!
Every time a friend comes to play it awakens from its resting place, from the deepest corners of the closets, from the far reaches of the toy box; no matter the clever hiding place to which it is stowed it resurrects, my bane.
In the early hours of the morning, I plot. I plan. Yes, he will marry someday and have children of his own. Will it be a birthday? Christmas? An unmarked package arriving on a random date? Someday the Rock-N-Roll Electric Guitar will find it's way back to its Agent to wreak havoc on his household. Ha, Ha, Ha, Ha!
And then, Uncle Greg, may the batteries of all of your offspring's electric sounds toys NEVER RUN OUT!