I've made a couple of career changes in my years; starting as a programmer, then into sales, then a SAHM. I realized I needed to get out of programming after two incidents in particular; one where I wrote some code that awarded 100,000 pairs of golden cadillac earrings to Mary Kay Beauty Consultants who didn't earn them.
I've made a couple of career changes in my years; starting as a programmer, then into sales, then a SAHM. I realized I needed to get out of programming after two incidents in particular; one where I wrote some code that awarded 100,000 pairs of golden cadillac earrings to Mary Kay Beauty Consultants who didn't earn them. The second mistake was some code that sent duplicate commission checks - we were able to stop payment on most of those. One would think I would have heard "You're fired," but my users still referred to me as "the best programmer they've ever had." It's a gift, I guess., so I went into sales. But perhaps the most challenging role for me has been this job of Stay-At-Home-Mom. How does one preserve a razor sharp wit and a mind like a steel trap beyond memorizing nursery rhymes or the NickJr. programming schedule? I'll tell you how, by creating new ways to stretch the family budget!
Clipping coupons and monitoring sales is just not my bag. That's old, hackneyed, everybody does it. No siree, I've got to get fancy! Jump in with both feet! Be a pioneer!
Allow me to elucidate. I once found on the internet a recipe for making your own baby wipes out of paper-towels. Premium paper towels, mind you, after all we're talking about your baby's bum. First, the recipe called for cutting the roll of towel in half. It's not easy to cut a roll of paper towel in half, especially when the sharpest tool you feel qualified to use is a steak knife. Next, you take one ragged-ended half-roll and soak it in a solution of mild soap, baby oil, and water. If you've ever made paper you can quickly see the folly in soaking paper towel in water. I, blissfully unhindered by common sense, continued with the experiment anyway. Suffice it to say that even if you do manage to peel a piece or two off the roll, the result is messier, though better smelling, than the poop in the diaper itself and absolutely useless in an emergency. I promptly returned to Huggies to supply our family's wipes. Not long ago, while cleaning under the kitchen sink, I uncovered the remains of the other half of the paper-towel roll, with it's frayed edges a grim reminder of my failed caper and how I wasted a perfectly good roll of premium paper towels in order to save a buck.
Another time, again thanks to the power of the Internet, I found a $30 a week grocery list complete with menu. Basically, for $30 you get white flour, white macaroni, white potatoes and white rice. Then, you supplement with hamburger and bologna for protein. You can still afford some milk, eggs, stick butter and cheese so that the dairy group is fairly represented. As for fruit and vegetables? Well, that depends on the time of year and where you live. You do the best you can to provide your family with the green-leafies.
I probably do not need to go into detail about the menu. I will warn you, though, that you're better off to face a hungry grizzly bear than my family suffering constipation. A BODY NEEDS FIBER.
My most recent endeavor was to see how long the family could go without making a trip to the grocery store; surviving solely on the goods stocked in our fridge and pantry.
It started out happy and good as we were fairly well stocked. It was 5 or 6 days before I had to go out to buy butter and eggs to make some oatmeal cookies. (We had company coming that night; I wouldn't have splurged like that otherwise.) But by days 8 and 9 I was beginning to feel a bit like Captain Kirk, my crew convinced I had been overcome by some alien mind-control device. They were beginning to lose confidence in my ability to command the ship. My First Officer and both Ensigns were threatening mutiny if I served up one more bowl of oatmeal with a side of carrot sticks. Something had to give.
Stardate 318352.89. Captain's log. Can't. Hold. On. Much longer. Crew insisting we go to H.E.B. Need Cocoa Puffs. Clipping coupons and reviewing sale pages. Captain out.