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I'm standing with a fresh, steamy cup of coffee, chatting with a new acquaintance.  "Can I get you some coffee?"

"No," she says, I don't drink caffiene.

"No coffee?  It's the nectar of God!  How do you get through the morning without coffee?"

"I'm Mormon," she smiles.

The good news is that I shut up before asking when she's due.  I'm not that dumb.

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I have this quirk.  Okay, I have many quirks, but this one is my uncanny ability to bust our household budget by implementing money-saving ideas.  For example, there's that time I decided to make my own baby wipes and ended up spending more money on premium weight paper towels, baby wash and baby soap - and produced a batch of baby fresh pulp.  Then, there's the time I bought the $5 hair clippers so that I could cut our family's hair for "free," but wound up spending more money to have their hair fixed by a professional.  Oh, and the laundry soap.  Yep, homemade laundry soap that seemed to work great until I noticed our freshly laundered clothes were beginning to smell like my boys' gym socks.

But you know, as Thomas Edison put it, after many failed attempts at the light bulb, I haven't failed 1000 times, I've succeeded in finding 1000 ways it doesn't work.

Last summer I saw a program on the Planet Green network about how to save on your electric bill.  Many of the ideas required spending money on energy saving equipment, but one idea spoke to me:  wash the laundry in cold water, rather than warm or hot.

So, I decided to conduct an experiment and for a whole month washed everything in cold water.  I couldn't wait for the next month's electric bill and looked forward to it like a payday.

Only, there was no change.  So much for that idea.

A few months later my husband announced that we all need to take more care to turn lights out behind us.  I looked at him and said, "Oh, yeah, don't expect much."  Then, I explained my scientific study, relaying the data before and after as proof that little changes don't add up when it comes to electricity bills.

He smiled that smile of his.  "You're so cute."

"What?"  Of course, when he tells me I'm cute, I know I've done something stupid.  

"Cindy, we have a gas water heater."

Yep, I'm a frugal Savant, all right.  And that's Savant with a capital "I."

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October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I do encourage you women to stop procrastinating and schedule that mammogram.  So will I.  A few years back my cousin, Kelly, lost her several year battle with breast cancer.  She left behind a then 9 year-old son and a big hole in our hearts and lives.  Kelly was a born-again Christian, though, and I look forward to laughing with her in Heaven.

Even with such a serious concern as breast cancer, I can't help but get a giggle over some of the October events on the schedule in Austin.  One of which is a "Mammogram Mixer." 

Now, tell me that doesn't sound like a wild girls' night out!  What woman wouldn't look forward to spending a couple of hours sharing drinks, a buffet laden with antioxidants and the chance to have your "girls" squashed between two cold steel plates?  

At the risk of dating myself, do you remember that old SNL skit, back in the days of Jane Curtain and Gilda Radner, where alien women had evolved to having eyeballs instead of nipples?  That's the image in my mind when I think of a Mammogram Mixer.  "Hey, girls, allow me to introduce my girls." 

I'd better go register.  It's BYOB, that is, Bring Your Own Boobs; bras optional.

 

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Today scientists at CERN flipped the switch on the Large Hadron Collider in an attempt to create mass from energy.  I won't even pretend to have a clue about the mathematics that goes into this experiment, but I will say that ever since I learned the equation E=MC2 I've been fascinated by the thought of turning energy into mass.

They are searching for the Higgs Boson, also called the "God Particle."  It's theorized that the Higgs Boson is the piece that solves the puzzle of how mass was first created.  

Here's some information on the Higgs Boson , courtesy of Wilipedia.  Here's a really cute rap video which explains the LHC.

Questions regarding the wisdom of this nearly $4 Billion experiment have included concern that the LHC could produce a black-hole capable of consuming the entire earth.

Ouch!

Relax, CERN folk have done the math and the chances of this happen are nano-of-a-nano slim and, even if they did manage to generate a black hole, it would be so unstable that it would only be a "blip" and gone. Them's layman's words.

I can't remember where, when or whether it was a dream, but I have a vague memory of hearing that, mathematically, at least, if one were to fall into a black hole it would appear to an observer that the observed would be pulled, stretched and break apart as he was pulled through the hole.  However, from the victim's perspective, it would seem that nothing had changed.  

Again, I'll have to research that for a better explanation or to determine if I simply made-up that part.

At any rate, think of the opportunities to use the LHC as a scapegoat.  Lost your keys?  Blame it on a little black hole.  Computer crash?  Must be the LHC!  Obama in the White House?  Hmmm.
  

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