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"Hey, Chris and Alex, do you remember the name given to the super-continent which eventually spread apart to form the continents as we know them today?"

"Yes, Dad, it was Pangaea.  Dad, isn't it kind of sad to think that Wegener died poor, alone, and rejected by the Scientific community?"

"Who's Wegener?"

He's the guy who first came up with the theory of Pangaea!"

"How do you know all this?"

"Mom taught us."  Hearing this, Mom joins the conversation.

"Chuck, what do you think?  There are Creationists who don't buy the Pangaea theory."

"Well, how else would man have gotten from continent to continent?  They didn't have ships back then."

"What?!  The book of Genesis talks about the great civilizations before the flood.  Of course they had ships."

"Let me rephrase, how else would man have made it from continent to continent before jumping ship if their wives were there, yipping at 'em the whole trip?"

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Last night, while brushing his teeth before bed, Alex had an epiphany.  "Tomorrow is April Fool's day," he said to Chris.

"Oh, yeah," Chris whispered.  I could tell the wheels were turning in his head when his tongue peeked out the side of his mouth, an unconscious habit of his that helps  him do everything better.

The two scurried off and for a while I could hear sounds of busy mischief-making.  I turned to Chuck and said, "Crap, they're getting old enough to invent some pretty good April Fool's pranks." 

"Yep, and don't forget they have you as their teacher," he said.

A while later they came into our bedroom to say goodnight.  "Don't go into the kitchen until morning," Chris said.

"Oh?  Why's that?" I asked.

"We've set up some boogie traps for you and Dad."

"Boogie traps?  You mean booby traps."

"We say boogie traps because the other is a bad word."

"A bad word?"  I asked, curious to learn what they know that I don't know, "How do you know it's a bad word?  What does it mean?"

"It's what you call someone who is...who you...who..."

"Who you think is acting like the 's-word'?"

"Yes!  It's not nice to call someone that."

This morning, I woke to find all sorts of clever Rube Goldberg contraptions - a string tied to the stem of a strategically placed apple, attached to a wooden spoon catapult loaded with a rock; an inflatable ball attached to a string stretched across the path to my computer; the refrigerator door taped shut, etc. 

The best one was the tape securing the vegetable sprayer at the sink in it's "on" position.  I fell for that one.  Always appreciative of a good joke, though, I decided to leave the tape in place for the next victim.

Unfortunately, I was the next one to use the sink and in the span of no more than five minutes had forgotten my own clever plot.  Good one.

Paybacks are a b-word.

 

 

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Homeschooling is fun and doesn't have to be expensive.  Rather than lay down cash for some high-priced curriculum, use whatever resources are handy.    Your home school should be flexible.  If Dad has the day off, give the kids a special treat by letting him teach a lesson or two.

Class:  Sales 101

Skill(s):  practical living, psychology, art

Boys, the most important lesson you need to learn in life is summed-up perfectly here on this coffee mug:  "No One Knows How Good You Are Until After The Sale.  Before They Buy, They Only Know How Good Your Marketing is"Final Sale Coffee Mug

Your mother, for example, knew the power of marketing.  This is one of the outfits she wore when we were dating...

Final Sale - Before

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Compare that to what you see her wearing now, after 10 years of wedded bliss, 2 perfect kids and 40 lbs of growing contentment...

Final Sale - After

"I'm the Mom, That's why!"

Class dismissed.

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Category: Funny Stuff
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A song keeps playing through my mind.  It’s a poem called “One Art” by Elizabeth Bishop which was set to music by Israeli musician David Broza.

 

The art of losing isn’t (too) hard to master.  So many things seem filled with intent to be lost.

 

Isn’t that the truth?  Don’t you feel like you lose something every day?  I lose my keys, shoes, my train of thought.  I forget why I put down whatever I was working on to walk to the linen closet.

 

I lose my temper, patience, my nerve and, at times, my joy.

 

I’ve lost my way.

 

I’ve lost family and friends, confidence, self-control and my balance.

 

Oh, and money, time and energy...and bladder control.

I've lost my steam.

My waistline.

 

Yet, no matter how hard I practice, I just can’t seem to lose fifteen lousy pounds.

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