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Category: Funny Stuff
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I felt a twinge of Spring Fever a couple of days ago when I spotted a patch of bluebonnets by the side of the road.  It's easy to catch it as the days are getting longer, warmer and greener. 

That reminded me it's almost time for swimsuits and sleeveless tops. 

I took off my clothes and turned in front of the bathroom mirror.  Aside from pork-hock legs, a rear-end that looks like someone stuffed 5 gallons of cottage cheese into 1 gallon zip-locks, and a belly that casts enough shadow to shade our backyard, I was reminded of a recent conversation with my son:

On our way to church Chris asked me if all girl animals have "puffs." 

"Well, yes, more or less," I answered.

"Do they all use their 'puffs' to feed their babies?"

"Yep."

"How come dogs' puffs aren't big, like yours?"

"Uh, I don't know, I guess it would be hard for them to get around."

"So, it's not hard for you to get around with those two big dinner plates stuck to your belly?"

I turned to my laughing husband, "Are you laughing about my 'dinner plates'?"

"Ah, no," he snorted, "I was laughing about the 'stuck to your belly' part."

I'm not looking forward to swimsuits and sleeveless tops.  In fact, this is when I long to live back north where there is still another good month or two of winter hibernating.

 

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Category: Funny Stuff
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"How are you today, did you find everything okay?" asked the checkout clerk.

"I'm great!  Yes I did and how are you?"

"Just peachy!"

"You're itchy?"

"Bitchy?  I didn't say bitchy!" she said, "I'd never say 'bitchy' to a customer!" 

I laughed, "No!  I know you wouldn't say that, I thought you said 'itchy'!"

"Oh, no, I'm not itchy."

"Great, well, I hope your weekend is just peachy!"

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Chuck tells me about the new marketing collateral he and his Administrative Assistant have been pulling together. 

The company tag line is, "IT just got easier!"  Sounds great, so far.  The brochure continues to tout all the great things Capstone Works will do to manage your small business IT, like first, take an inventory of your business asses.

You know, Chuck, no wonder we're so misunderstood.

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Category: Musings
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So, I'm surfing through my blog roll and, as one blog roll leads to another, I stumbled upon Elena Johnson's site and this:  The Great Blog Experiment.  I'm still not entirely sure how it works, but I do know that Friday, September 24 (Gasp!  That's today!) we're supposed to blog about writing compelling characters.

Now, I'm a fledgling writer, wet behind the ears, still a long way from quitting my highly rewarding day job as a homeschooling mom, but...but, I'm an avid reader and, believe you me, I have a thing or two to say about compelling characters.

My big thing?  Dialogue.  Your characters must speak believable magic and music to keep my interest.  Here are a couple of suggestions to help you to write inspiring, memorable characters.

1.  If you haven’t already, spring for a pack of those spiral bound index cards, you're gonna need 'em.  And a fountain pen.  Ok, you don’t need the fountain pen, but they sure are writerly, aren’t they?

2.  You probably already do this, but you must know your characters and a good tool for developing them is people watching.  More than watching, listening – it’s okay to get up close and eavesdrop.  Chances are your characters are composites of people you know or people you've seen, heard, were frustrated by or fell in love with.  What are they saying?  How are they saying it?  How can you say more than that with fewer, deeper, thoughtful words.

3.  Record all those, "Doh!  I should have said," moments.  Maybe you missed the boat on the clever quip, the snappy retort, the spit-your-coffee-on-the-keyboard one liner, but your character doesn't have to.   Think movie script - the lines we love to quote.

4.  Read!  Read lots and read like you mean it.  Take notes; how does your favorite author do it?  Emulate.

5.  Get into character.  Remember all the people watching?  The gum-popping waitress, the terse clerk at the DMV who rolled her eyes when you forgot your checkbook - be one with the clerk.

Lastly, don't be afraid of dialogue.  It's not easy to write, but you can master it.  For me, dialogue is what makes or breaks a reading experience.  If your characters aren't clever or cleverly painted, I won't care about them. 

A great resource on crafting effective dialogue is Gloria Kempton’s book, Dialogue, from the Write Great Fiction series. 

Now, get busy.

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Category: Musings
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Yep, I’ve been off the blog wagon so long now that I don’t even know where to begin.  I’d been waiting on a Joomla upgrade, which my husband said he’d do for me, as well as a blog face lift – which my husband also said he’d do for me.  Unfortunately, he has to take care of his paying customers, first, so, if I continue to wait until I can debut a new blog then a whole lot of things could happen, like the Rapture or a government shut-down of the internet or a solar flare that wipes out all ability to electronically communicate or a meteor might fall into my lap as I sit on the sofa and I’d have neglected to share all this important stuff and your life would be utterly incomplete.

 

We can’t have that.

 

With that in mind, it’s time to flex this stiff, atrophied writing muscle and see what a little exercise might do.   This might take a while.

 

Speaking of writing:  National Novel Writing Month (NaNoWriMo or NaNo) is coming up again in November.  I have an idea and, as you may well remember, that’s really all you need to get a novel started.   A coffee IV drip, 2-3 hours less sleep per night and 2000 or so words a day for 30 days is all you need to get the novel finished.  My last year’s “winner” is right where I left it last November.

 

Oh and I’m on the author list at HSBA Post - home of the 6th Annual Homeschool Blog Awards.  Check it out when you get a minute.

 

Speaking of homeschooling, we started our school year in mid-August and have been moving forward at a respectable pace.   Alex is in 7th grade, Chris is in 5th.   We’ve added a goodly amount of work to the schedule over past years.  In addition to Tapestry of Grace for history, literature, geography and worldview, we’re using Saxon math, Introductory Logic, Latina Christiana, Michael Clay Thompson’s language arts products (more on that, later) and various resources from Robinson Curriculum.  Oh, and Heart of Wisdom Bible study stuff as well as Bible Study Fellowship (BSF).   That’s the lot of stuff that I’ll be reviewing and discussing over the next several months.

 

What else?  Oh, on God:  I’m back in BSF this year for their new Isaiah study.  Not only that, but I’m back in leadership in the school program.  Honestly, it’s really nice to be back.  Several of the ladies I served with a couple years ago are still there and I missed their presence in my life.  God is good.

 

Well, this was a random dump of a post.  Maybe now that I’ve stuck my big toe back in the water, I’ll be ready to come back full swim…er, swing.

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