Humor
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October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and I do encourage you women to stop procrastinating and schedule that mammogram. So will I. A few years back my cousin, Kelly, lost her several year battle with breast cancer. She left behind a then 9 year-old son and a big hole in our hearts and lives. Kelly was a born-again Christian, though, and I look forward to laughing with her in Heaven.
Even with such a serious concern as breast cancer, I can't help but get a giggle over some of the October events on the schedule in Austin. One of which is a "Mammogram Mixer."
Now, tell me that doesn't sound like a wild girls' night out! What woman wouldn't look forward to spending a couple of hours sharing drinks, a buffet laden with antioxidants and the chance to have your "girls" squashed between two cold steel plates?
At the risk of dating myself, do you remember that old SNL skit, back in the days of Jane Curtain and Gilda Radner, where alien women had evolved to having eyeballs instead of nipples? That's the image in my mind when I think of a Mammogram Mixer. "Hey, girls, allow me to introduce my girls."
I'd better go register. It's BYOB, that is, Bring Your Own Boobs; bras optional.
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Today scientists at CERN flipped the switch on the Large Hadron Collider in an attempt to create mass from energy. I won't even pretend to have a clue about the mathematics that goes into this experiment, but I will say that ever since I learned the equation E=MC2 I've been fascinated by the thought of turning energy into mass.
They are searching for the Higgs Boson, also called the "God Particle." It's theorized that the Higgs Boson is the piece that solves the puzzle of how mass was first created.
Here's some information on the Higgs Boson , courtesy of Wilipedia. Here's a really cute rap video which explains the LHC.
Questions regarding the wisdom of this nearly $4 Billion experiment have included concern that the LHC could produce a black-hole capable of consuming the entire earth.
Ouch!
Relax, CERN folk have done the math and the chances of this happen are nano-of-a-nano slim and, even if they did manage to generate a black hole, it would be so unstable that it would only be a "blip" and gone. Them's layman's words.
I can't remember where, when or whether it was a dream, but I have a vague memory of hearing that, mathematically, at least, if one were to fall into a black hole it would appear to an observer that the observed would be pulled, stretched and break apart as he was pulled through the hole. However, from the victim's perspective, it would seem that nothing had changed.
Again, I'll have to research that for a better explanation or to determine if I simply made-up that part.
At any rate, think of the opportunities to use the LHC as a scapegoat. Lost your keys? Blame it on a little black hole. Computer crash? Must be the LHC! Obama in the White House? Hmmm.
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My 8 year-old is a wordsmith.
Since he was a baby he's loved words. I remember holding him face-to-face with me, talking to him, and how he studied my face then worked his own mouth to mimic mine, his little baby-brows furrowed as he seemed to be thinking, How is she doing that?
When he finally did learn to talk he spoke clear, well enunciated words. No problem with r's or l's that sound like w's. Nope, it was evident he'd been practicing and paying attention to how people speak.
He loves to repeat the words that appeal to him and even concocts his own definitions. For example, yesterday I hauled out a stack of videos to see if any interested him:
"They're a bit gender, Mom."
"Gender? What do you mean by gender?"
"I know gender refers to 'boy or girl', but today I'm using it to mean 'a little young'."
Last night I treated them to Wendy's meals and when Chris got his food he ate a french fry and said, "This food is totally artificial!"
"Artificial? You don't like it?
"I love it. I mean artificial as in great!"
"Chris, artificial means 'man-made'," said Alex.
"I know, but these are 'man made' and they taste great!"
I'm thinking my kid just might be President, one day.
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"So, Mom, what would be the perfect Mother's Day gift for you?" Alex asked, yesterday, as we ate our lunch.
Before I could answer, Chris suggested, "Let's build her a huge Bionicle."
"No, Chris," said Alex, "That's not a Mother's Day gift."
"Oh," Chris paused, then said, "How about a fleet of Bionicles?"
"Chris, I mean what can we buy Mom. Something new that she wants."
"A new Bionicle!" said Chris.
With a sigh of defeat, Alex plopped his forehead on the table. I reached out to tousle his hair and told him that I already had my Mother's Day gift.
(Though Chris still can't imagine how anything could be better than a new Bionicle.)
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11:00 PM
"Mom, why are you talking like a robot."
"I am a robot."
"No you're not, you're my mom."
"We were switched at your birth."
"You're not a robot...," his eyes narrow as he peers into mine.
"I love you, now go to bed."
"Love you too, g'night," he says and starts down the hall, then turns for another quick look.